Evidence

Everything seems to move so fast. Do you have the experience at the end of the day when you can’t remember clearly what happened through the day…or yesterday? That was yesterday….right? Or was it the day before? Maybe it was Monday. It all blurs so quickly. And as we’re speeding along we are also trying to get better, improve upon our situation. As I write this sentence I have an image of some Evil Knievel-esque stunt being performed. We are living in a metaphorical Fast and Furious movie.

As you may have read in my birthday thoughts, my goal for this new spin around the sun is to slow down, be present and take stock. But it is really hard to do that when life is moving so fast. So I am doing the only thing that makes sense to me: I am writing it all down.

Before I even start to try and figure out how to improve things and make better choices, I need to be aware of the choices I am currently making. So right now I am doing two things:

Firstly I am tracking how I spend each day. When I told a friend about this she said: sounds exhausting. I thought it would be too, which is why I have avoided doing it for so long. But its actually really empowering. It is so hard to wrap your head around how you really spend each day. In addition, if you are like me and respond positively to a “gold star” situation (being rewarded for your work) then it is very motivational. I want to see those composing hours add up. It is almost as rewarding as actually having a finished product! Almost…but nothing beats that beautifully bounced wav file.

Secondly I am rating how I felt during that time spent, on a scale from 1-10. That is a very interesting exercise. Not my idea, suggested to me by some wise counsel. So now I am not just tracking my time, I am evaluating it.

How do you go somewhere better if you are unsure of where you currently are? It is near impossible, certainly can’t be done deliberately. So this is what I am up to friends: collecting evidence on my current position. Seeing what works and what could be improved. Discovering where I am. That, in and of itself, is a relief.